Inside my head

There are two people inside my head.
I know this, because they tell me different things, and argue about what's best for "me" (does this mean there are three people????)


Here they are:
1. The person I want to be (shoulder-angel)
This is the person in my head who loves to work out, loves healthy food, shuns alcohol, smugly reads every article on healthy eating and can tick all the boxes saying "I already knew that". She can list the calories in each food item, put together a balanced and tasty meal and loves the feeling of sticking to a diet and getting down to her healthy weight. She's disgusted by my current weight, but knows that all it will take is a bit of hard work to fix it.


2. The person I revert to (shoulder-devil)
This is the sloth, shunning exercise and embracing all things chocolate. This person has no problem wandering into a dairy and buying a king size block of chocolate to consume alone, in fact, she plots about it all day. She anticipates every opportunity to eat unhealthy food and drink her body weight in alcohol. She avoids healthy eating articles and websites and hates skinny girls who are just trying to make her feel bad. She even shoved a skinny girl recently (true story) for "getting in her way". Her bitterness and sadness about her body consumes.


For the most part this year I have been the shoulder-angel. Unfortunately, my sprained injury and upcoming weekend away has tipped a few things into the shoulder-devil's favour and she is taking advantage of all these weaknesses to lure me into her warped ways of thinking.


I'm bloated, tired and miserable. On top of that my ankle is disgusting. I'm not really sure why I decided to compound my misery over not being able to exercise or have fun by adding in weight gain? The mind boggles.


Tomorrow shoulder angel needs to be in charge again.