In June I set a date with my bridesmaids to go on the wedding dress hunt. I calculated in excel how much weight I would need to lose per week to get to 78kg (600g by the way) and decided I could do it.
My weight this morning was 76.4kg and on Saturday I am going wedding dress shopping.
I should be stoked, I smashed my goal out of the park. But I'm not. I'm totally freaking out.
I still see myself as huge, I don't know if anything will fit me or look good and I hate my arms. I also don't know what size to order the dress in as I still have around 8kg to go before I reach goal. I am literally dreading the weekend and wish this week would go slower.
This should be exciting!!!
At the moment I have been having loads of fat days. I think I always imagined that when I got to this weight I would be looking fantastic. I'm pleased with how I look but I still hate my arms and legs. I'm worried that when I get to the magic 68kg I'll still feel like this. When is enough going to be enough? I don't want to go overboard, I want to live a balanced life. I think part of that is going to involve learning to accept a result that is less than perfect.
I will always have chunky thighs, but I also think that makes me good at running and cycling.
I have a little loose skin on the tops of my arms, but this will improve over the next year or two and it's a constant reminder of my hard work and discipline.
I just feel a bit lost at the moment.
On a brighter note, I went shopping last weekend and bought myself a pair of size 12 jeans and a new jersey, check out the new threads:
Clearly you have done amazing work to get where you are. But I know your feeling! For me it has been almost two years since I reached my goal and I still sometimes go 'ugh, I feel fat' depends on what I have eaten or if I have worked out or whatever, I have loose skin a bit on my tummy and it's not fun, but such is the price of living about 12 years as a fat guy.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read all of your posts, but do you do any weight training? some bicep and tricep work will totally help out your arms, you don't have to become muscular, just some light work will help tighten that up over a bit of time. I think big thighs come with being fit though, all the cardio stuff uses your legs so... at least it's muscle right? :)
All that said, you look fantastic in your picture! Be Excited!
Hey Chris, first off thanks for the compliment :)
ReplyDeleteI need to accept that yeah, I was chubbs for a huge part of 25 years and a bit of loose skin and weight hangups are always going to be a part of my life.
And yup, I hit the gym a few times a week to focus on upper body strength, I try to do body weight stuff like burpees and press ups but also concentrated exercises to target my shoulders, back, triceps and biceps. Progress will come there but need to get the body fat % down before it becomes more noticeable.