Zoo Day!

Boyfriend is back from Aussie, yay!

Because I'm such an awesome girlfriend I didn't force him to sleep in and be lame, instead I let him get out of bed early and come to the Zoo with me! 

I started the day by finishing week three of the C25K, because I'm awesome like that. 

Then we hit People's Coffee en route to the Zoo, this is where only the hippest of all hipsters can be found (BF and I stand out like sore thumbs, we are painfully non-hipster/mainstream, but noone's perfect right?).

Then I discovered one of my newest favourite animals (although the Giraffe will always be number one in my heart), the squirrel monkey:

(Courtesy of my instagram, peanutbuttagal).

Now BF is being totally lame watching Formula 1, but he did walk to the Zoo and put up with my inane animal chatter for a solid hour so he's earned it.

My skinny list

Everyone wanting to shift some weight has their own reasons, whether it's health, family, vanity or a combination everyone needs that motivating factor to get them to change. On top of that main reason, there are also nice things that happen along the way that skinny people can take for granted. 

Here is my "skinny list" of things I yearned for when I was bigger/still yearn for (I have crossed out the ones that I've achieved):

• Cross my legs comfortably
• Be in the 70s
• Reach "virgin fat" (72kg or lower)
• Beat binge eating
• Run for 30 mins without stopping
• Sit comfortably on flimsy outdoor chairs
• Have the energy to get out of bed in the morning
• Lose enough weight for people to notice
• Be under 78kg for my wedding dress fitting
• Shop in regular clothes shops
• Wear my size 12 jeans that were too small at Uni
• Live with peanut butter
• Enjoy holidays with loads of energy for activities
• Love having my photo taken again
• Buy and wear expensive lingerie without feeling ridiculous
• Wake up every day knowing I made a commitment to myself and followed through
• Feel my collarbones and hip bones
• Learn to maintain my weight healthily once I reach goal
• Go skydiving
• Weigh myself monthly instead of daily
• Look forward to summer and the beach
• Love and treasure my wedding photos without a shred of regret
• Wear light coloured tops in summer without worrying about huge sweat patches
• Never set a new years resolution to lose weight ever again
• Raise my (eventual) children to be active and healthy
• Be an inspiration to others

Irony Chocolate

That is the name I have just invented for chocolate that is purchased while out on a run. It struck me as kinda funny that I was standing in line at the supermarket after my run along the waterfront (which was MAGNIFICENT) with sweat still running down my face buying chocolate. 

I like to have a daily treat, and I forgot to buy something at the supermarket on Saturday and decided today that I had gone long enough without an evening treat! 

Here is the collection of things I craved and bought after my run, I'm proud that these are my defaults nowadays:

- Sparkling water with lemon
- Dark chocolate (I have discovered this brand isn't great for dark choc so I'll stick with lindt from now on)
- Eve apples for work.

What a huge transformation, from a girl who goes to the supermarket on the way home from a sedentary day at work to buy a huge amount of food to binge on to the girl who stops in on the way back from her afternoon run (after walking 45 mins to work and playing a game of netball at lunchtime I might add) to buy some healthy snacks to get her through to grocery day. 

My workmate texted me just before telling me to bring my running gear, we are going to take advantage of the weather and get a lunchtime run in. I'm scared, this won't be run-walking, this will be running at a boy's pace. My body is not ready!!!

Weigh-In

So today was Tuesday which can only mean... Weigh in day!!!

SW: 96.3kg
Last week: 77.3kg
Today: 77.4kg

I gained 100g. Undeserved? Yup. Had I worked hard? Yup. Am I devastated or upset?....Nope.

I'm on the final slog to 68kg, my body has lost a huge amount of weight in a relatively small amount of time and maybe it's starting to dig its heels in a bit. I can be patient and wait for the scales to catch up with me, it's no big deal. 

It should be noted, that if I had gone on an eating bender and thrown all my hard work out the window yes I would be devastated and very upset. But I haven't, so I'm not :)

Plan for this week? To relax, not worry about the scales and just keep on keeping on. I am confident I will see the number 76 next week!

--------------------------------------------

NSV of the day:
We bought peanut butter on Saturday people. Peanut Butter. 

Perhaps I should backfill this story a little by saying that in my former years as a food crazed mad-woman I would eat peanut butter from the jar with a spoon. I could not stop myself. I would come home from work and eat at least four pieces of peanut butter on toast before Boyfriend got home. It was so bad we had an agreement that peanut butter did not enter our home, but sometimes I caved and bought it anyway.

Anyways, we bought it on Saturday and I didn't even think that with Boyfriend being in Aussie for the week, leaving me home alone, that this would be a HUGE risk of peanut butter mayhem and inches making their way back onto my thighs. Potentially a fatal mistake in the weight loss world of moi.

Today I got out the PB, grabbed a teaspoon and... used it to mix some PB with soy sauce, chilli and ginger for my satay pork stir fry tonight. I didn't for a moment contemplate eating any because nowadays I know a slippery slope when I see/smell one. The concept of eating that PB with a spoon and feeling it stuck to the roof of my mouth actually didn't appeal. Has good sense prevailed? For now I will say yes, but this journey has taught me that I must ALWAYS be on guard for bad habits to make a stealthy return in a moment of weakness. My food habits are like little ninjas in my brain, they stay well hidden but are deadly when they strike!

P.S Peanut Butter: I still love you dearly, just in moderation. I look forward to goal when we could maybe spend some time together once a week for breakfast, but until then maybe not.

Monday!

Monday Monday Monday!

I finished work today so excited that the weather had cleared all ready to walk home. It wasn't until I went to get changed that I realised: no socks.

So gutted!

Was that going to stop me? No way!  It was still light when I got home and my legs were itching for some exercise so I threw on my running gear complete with shiny new jacket. Result?  Week 2 of the c25k done and the realisation that nothing feels better than making a commitment to yourself and actually following through.

Also, while running I got this overwhelming feeling that this might actually be something I will enjoy doing. I love running so far and I hope I continue to love it as I transition from mostly walking to mostly running!

I then got my domestic ninja on, lit the fire and cooked my chicken with sweet potato pancakes for dinner. Now? In front of the fire watching My Kitchen Rules. Bliss.

Sunday

Taking a well deserved rest day. Boyfriend is in Australia until Friday so I am spending some quality time with the laptop.

C25K - Initial Thoughts

So, as you may have guessed by my previous ramblings I am giving the Couch to Five Kilometres (C25K) programme a shot. 

For those of you unfamiliar, this is basically designed to get an extremely unfit person off the couch and running 5 kilometres or 30 mins without stopping within eight weeks. Eight weeks!

You can find it here.

So, yesterday I finished Week 2 Day 1. But it should be noted that many years ago when I was last at this weight I finished the programme so I do know it reasonably well. Here is my very amateur view on the programme:

I love it. 

Why?

- Week 1 is so easy that almost anyone can do it, so you feel like a winner from the get-go.
- The transitions between weeks have been carefully worked so that if you have finished the previous week your body will be ready for the challenge. 
- The programme will push you until you are at your limit but no further. You won't end up in a heap or vomiting, you'll just be exhausted and darn proud!
- There is LOADS of support out there in weight loss communities for this programme. Reddit has a great C25K page with like minded people sharing their adventures and best of all there are even smartphone applications and podcasts which will time your runs for you.
- Running is a daunting exercise to take up because it is HARD and people often try to do too much too soon and get frustrated, this slows the pace and gets results.

Thinking of doing it? Want some tips? No? Too bad I'm going to dish them out anyway.

• I love Robert Ullrey's podcasts, he made them in around 2005 I think and they have always been the best way for me to do C25K, especially as my galaxy is a bit big to lug around on a run.
• Don't be tempted to skip weeks. I have been almost sprinting my runs in week one because it is so easy, but remember this programme is not only building fitness, it is also conditioning your muscles and legs for running. Running is high impact and your body needs time to get used to it.
• Don't be afraid to repeat a week. It's not a failure, this programme is a guideline not an absolute rule. Do what suits you and your level of fitness.
• Run in any weather, up hills or down. If we all waited for the perfect conditions nothing would ever get done! (Fully stole that from a picture I saw today - judge me).
• Have fun! I am loving the programme and I hope all C25K newbies do as well!

Tomorrow morning will be a hard slog, weather is gusty and cold with a chance of drizzle, and because I'm going from home it means a very steep uphill climb in the last 5 mins of running. Still excited!

What a day!

I love living in Wellington, and I love the attitude living here has given me about the weather. I'm not too phased by the wind and rain, I don't find it particularly cold here. But what I do love is how much I worship sunny days.

I check the weather forecast several times a day, searching for a promise of a clear sunny day, especially one on a Saturday or Sunday. Once I have one in my sights I immediately start planning, how can I make the most of this treasure? I'm going to start blogging a bit more about my treasured Wellington days, we won't live here forever but I'll always remember this as such a happy time.

Today was one of those magical days, and for a work day it wasn't bad!

I got up at 6.30 (something I've gotten very good at since putting my alarm on the other side of the room!), got into my work out clothes and walked the 4km to work:

The view from part of my walk.

At lunchtime I met up with boyfriend for lunch (<---- actually means he had lunch while I drank a coffee and then reheated healthy leftovers when I got back to my desk). It was the perfect winter lunch break:

After work I decided the weather was still so good it would be silly to waste it and since I already had my gym gear I put on my backpack and ran/walked home, ticking day one, week two of the C25K off my to-do list. Win!

I rounded out the day by preparing a chicken and quinoa salad with for dinner, with enough left for lunch tomorrow:

Delish!!!

So yeah! Great day and I feel like I've achieved so much as well as fitting in a pesky 8 hours of solid spreadsheet ninja time. Boom!

My weight: Official weigh in on Tuesday saw me at 77.3kg which is exactly 19kg gone! This morning I was pretty annoyed to see 78.3kg, I know I shouldn't weigh myself daily but seeing that really peeved me off. It is probably just water or something... But it does still mess with my head a bit. I guess now I just need to focus on how awesome I am feeling and that I am actually happy with how I look. I have a million times more energy than ever before, I fit a size 12/14 and I'm so happy. I will get to my goal eventually, it's just going to take perseverance and a bit more patience. 

Run happened!

Sorry this is so late, should have posted yesterday but blogger on my new phone (!) is playing up.

Was not raining but was mighty windy!

And that's week one of the couch to five k done. Boom!

Rain rain

Go away... going to run tonight regardless of the weather, going to run tonight regardless of the weather...

Chicken with kumara pancakes

Ever wanted a quick, low calorie, clean dinner? Well you can thank me later:
In a bowl mix:
1 tablespoon of flour
Four finely died spring onions
one tablespoon of minced ginger
One egg
Add 300g of grated purple kumara
Spread into a pancake in a sandwich press and cook until browned.
Slice 250-300g chicken breast and cook in a pan. Add juice of one lemon in the last few minutes of cooking.
Once the pancake is done slice it in half and place onto two plates. Top with chicken and pour over sweet chilli sauce to taste.

Enjoy!

So yeah

Not cured. Not immune. Not fixed.

Today I ate my (large) healthy lunch, got back to my desk and something told me to eat. At 2pm I ate my afternoon tea muesli bar. At 2.20pm I ate another one. At 2.30pm I ate a third. At 3pm I ate a small pack of m&ms from the vending maching. 

At 5pm I did the ultimate bad habit that haunts me from my past. I made up an excuse to go to the supermarket on the way home, went there, bought a chocolate bar and ate it before I even made it to the bus stop.

At 6pm when I got home I ate 2 prunes and a muesli bar.

I feel sick. I feel ashamed and I feel scared.

I will be fighting this my whole life. I have two options, give in like I used to and look like I used to, or keep fighting it and accept that sometimes I will succumb and I will never be truly cured.

I need to reframe the way I am looking at this in my head. Yes, I made a mistake, I slipped into old habits. I knew I was doing it and I did it anyway. This is a reminder that I'm human and that habits that were a huge part of my life for ten years will not die easy, it is going to take constant vigilance. 

I gave up weight watchers. It was partially about the money and it was partially about defiance. Why do I need someone else to tell me what I weigh every week? I know enough about nutrition, why do I need to rely on their programme? Yes, it's a great programme but it's not the be all and end all.

What triggered today?
- Feeling full - for some reason I need to feel real hunger before I eat, otherwise I overeat. Seems weird, but I think when I feel real hunger my body has effectively "reset" and will then tell my brain the difference between hungry and full. If I eat when I'm not 100% hungry my brain doesn't seem to get the message when I'm full, probably from years of overeating when not hungry.
- Stress? Work is a bit crazy and I'm worried that I'm not doing the right things. There's a bit of an opportunity to step up to the plate at the moment and I'm worried about how I'm doing.
- Complacency. I'm happy with how I look, it's a comfortable weight where my body sat for years throughout High School and Uni and I think deep down a part of my brain thinks it's impossible to get any smaller.
- Exhaustion. Not physical exhaustion, but I'm tired of losing weight. It's been a long slog and I'm proud of how far I've come but it's tiring, I get out the scales every morning with a sigh that I have to do it, rather than looking forward to it.
- Mini plateau - my body is beginning to resist losing weight. I have a few big losses then I stay the same for a fortnight and to be honest it's pissing me off. 
- Eating too much sugar. That stuff is addictive and nasty, I'm sick of eating fake food and I want to challenge myself to eat wholesome good foods rather than processed convenience food.

So many things to think about. One thing I know for sure, I feel like rubbish right now, unmotivated, full and lazy. That's not me anymore.

Goals for this week:
- No weighing until Tuesday. Daily weighing is taking its toll on my psychologically and it's gotta stop, used to love it, now hate it.
- Starting C25K tomorrow. Committing to it 100%. I'm light enough to run with ease so let's roll.
- Limit processed junk
- Count those calories!

By the way, I'm down to around 78.2kg now (maybe a bit more after today) which is 200g away from my wedding dress fitting goal weight! Woop!