Not much going on around here peeps so I'm going to drop in quickly with a weigh in:
SW: 96.3kg
Last week: 74.9kg
CW: 74.5kg
Wooooooooot! Lost 400g!!! So happy. That 400g includes the following indiscretions which I am not 100% proud of but accept that they are part of life and I am happy I have found a healthy way to balance them out:
- Jug of beer at quiz night
- Glass of cider at quiz night
- Toasted sandwich (cheese, ham and pineapple) at quiz night
- Second toasted sandwich at quiz night
- Half another toasted sandwich at quiz night
- McDonald's Chicken McCheese burger yesterday
- Giant jaffas x about 2 per day from my workmate's drawer
- Giant jaffas x 10 or more at the Phoenix game Saturday night!
That same 400g also includes the following achievements:
- My first full 5km run last Tuesday night
- Mitigating quiz night last Wednesday by skipping Friday night drinks
- Walking to and from work every time the weather allowed it
- My second full 5km run on Sunday morning.
So all in all a successful week. I know I set ambitious calorie goals last week to get this weight off faster but at the end of the day I just need to truck along and trust that my body knows what it needs to do.
I am 500g away from being considered a normal/healthy weight and I'm so excited to finally be there. Bring it on October!!!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
What a weekend!
Yesterday I woke up to find this beautiful weather staring at me:
So I hopped to it and decided to head to the farmers market to buy the week's fruit and veg. Normally I shop at the supermarket but their prices and selection are terrible and I love the atmosphere at the market as well as dreaming about how creative I can be with all the different produce.
I found a skirt I bought on sale years ago in size 12 which I had never been able to wear and decided to give it a go. It fitted so I wore it to the market (NSV: I have NEVER felt confident in anything cut above the knee yet now I wear shorts and skirts all the time). Excuse the mess in my bedroom!
I wandered to the market and spent just under $30, I came home with this haul:
Tonight I'm trying my hand at making moussaka, I'll let you know how I get on!
Yesterday we spent a lot of time in the garden, getting the last of the plants in and putting up wire netting and string for the beans and peas to climb.
The weather closed in last nigh just as we were heading to the stadium to watch the Wellington Phoenix beat Sydney FC (ha!) and we got caught in torrential rain. I spent the whole game shivering but it was still good fun.
This morning the sun was streaming in again and you wouldn't have known there was a storm last night! I went for my second ever 5km run around Evans Bay and it was beautiful. The last 2.5kms were hard as I was heading into a nasty southerly wind but I just slowed my pace and slogged it out.
Boyfriend has been uber lame watching Bathhurst all day and I've been trying my absolute hardest not to annoy him... I just don't understand guys and motorsport... Off to try out this moussaka, enjoy the rest of the weekend peeps!
I found a skirt I bought on sale years ago in size 12 which I had never been able to wear and decided to give it a go. It fitted so I wore it to the market (NSV: I have NEVER felt confident in anything cut above the knee yet now I wear shorts and skirts all the time). Excuse the mess in my bedroom!
Yesterday we spent a lot of time in the garden, getting the last of the plants in and putting up wire netting and string for the beans and peas to climb.
The weather closed in last nigh just as we were heading to the stadium to watch the Wellington Phoenix beat Sydney FC (ha!) and we got caught in torrential rain. I spent the whole game shivering but it was still good fun.
Boyfriend has been uber lame watching Bathhurst all day and I've been trying my absolute hardest not to annoy him... I just don't understand guys and motorsport... Off to try out this moussaka, enjoy the rest of the weekend peeps!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
I did it!
Today after work I ran 5km for the first time ever!!! It was a beautiful afternoon so I ran to the end of Oriental Parade and back, it felt really good and I didn't feel like I had pushed it too hard. Then I met Boyfriend at the tennis courts to get some practice in.
Weigh in today:
SW: 96.3kg
CW: 74.9kg
You know what that means... Progress pics!!! I've taken them, just waiting on Boyfriend to work his photoshop magic!
Weigh in today:
SW: 96.3kg
CW: 74.9kg
You know what that means... Progress pics!!! I've taken them, just waiting on Boyfriend to work his photoshop magic!
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Daylight Savings
Officially my favourite time of the year! When Daylight Savings starts!!
Today after work to celebrate it being so light in the evening I walked home through the Southern walkway (I don't feel comfortable when it's darker...)
How lucky am I to have views like this on my 45 minute walk home from work?
I know you don't care but bear with me! In there I've got asian stir fry greens, broccoli, 2 varieties of corn, peas, tomatoes, courgette and artichoke. I also have a sprinkling of basil seeds around the tomatoes as tomatoes and basil have a not-so-secret love affair and make each other super happy and tasty when planted close by.
I've got some eggplant, chilli, a million more tomatoes, watermelon, capsicum and squash waiting in the growhouse until the weather heats up a tiny bit more for them to make their garden debut.
So there it is! Not bad for a Monday :)
Today after work to celebrate it being so light in the evening I walked home through the Southern walkway (I don't feel comfortable when it's darker...)
How lucky am I to have views like this on my 45 minute walk home from work?
Tennis was cancelled this evening as our coach is away and Simon is in Palmy for the day so I busted into the garden and got some more veggies in.
This year is probably my best year for gardening, I have become obsessed with germinating seeds in my tiny greenhouse and then making special spots for them in the garden! Here is my main garden, I also have a series of pots and planter boxes but this is my current project obsession.
I've got some eggplant, chilli, a million more tomatoes, watermelon, capsicum and squash waiting in the growhouse until the weather heats up a tiny bit more for them to make their garden debut.
So there it is! Not bad for a Monday :)
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Sweet little lies
I am an extremely honest person, perhaps to a fault when I end up oversharing when a simple white lie could suffice.
- I don't lie to Boyfriend.
- I never lie to my bosses
- I don't lie to friends
- I don't lie to family
I don't lie to anyone. Except one person.
I have been lying to myself.
- You'll burn that jaffa off on your run tonight
- You'll still be well under calories even though you eat that
- That piece of cake won't do much damage
- Eating chips is ok on Friday nights
- I've earned this chocolate/treat/jaffa
- 1500 calories a day is a good target to lose weight
- I'm so close to goal, I've got to have a life too!
The above statements are things I have been telling myself recently. I also tell myself I'm sick of losing a meagre amount of weight every week. My average weight loss has gone from 800g per week to 300g per week. I know a loss is a loss but it is sporadic and a few almost-binge situations have started to develop.
I found myself in despair this morning after I ate far too many potato chips and drank too much red wine last night and saw 76.6kg on the scales this morning. A gain of 1.1kg overnight. I know thats mostly bloating but honestly!!!!!!
Time to stop kidding myself. I'm almost at goal, shit's gunna get harder from here on in. I need to start doing the following:
- Aim for 1200 calories a day and allow for 4 squares of chocolate on top of that only if I meet the 1200 target. If I cave and eat junk at work then evening chocolate is sacrificed.
- Start doing resistance training 3 times per week at the gym, in a lunch break is fine (at the moment I only do resistance work if it is raining and I needed to use the gym's treadmill for a run).
- Keep the protein high
- Keep up with running and tennis.
Brighter news - got my very own tennis racquet today! BF and I spent a few hours practicing at the public courts today, so cool!!!
This photo proves I definitely still have 7-8kg to go.
- I don't lie to Boyfriend.
- I never lie to my bosses
- I don't lie to friends
- I don't lie to family
I don't lie to anyone. Except one person.
I have been lying to myself.
- You'll burn that jaffa off on your run tonight
- You'll still be well under calories even though you eat that
- That piece of cake won't do much damage
- Eating chips is ok on Friday nights
- I've earned this chocolate/treat/jaffa
- 1500 calories a day is a good target to lose weight
- I'm so close to goal, I've got to have a life too!
The above statements are things I have been telling myself recently. I also tell myself I'm sick of losing a meagre amount of weight every week. My average weight loss has gone from 800g per week to 300g per week. I know a loss is a loss but it is sporadic and a few almost-binge situations have started to develop.
I found myself in despair this morning after I ate far too many potato chips and drank too much red wine last night and saw 76.6kg on the scales this morning. A gain of 1.1kg overnight. I know thats mostly bloating but honestly!!!!!!
Time to stop kidding myself. I'm almost at goal, shit's gunna get harder from here on in. I need to start doing the following:
- Aim for 1200 calories a day and allow for 4 squares of chocolate on top of that only if I meet the 1200 target. If I cave and eat junk at work then evening chocolate is sacrificed.
- Start doing resistance training 3 times per week at the gym, in a lunch break is fine (at the moment I only do resistance work if it is raining and I needed to use the gym's treadmill for a run).
- Keep the protein high
- Keep up with running and tennis.
Brighter news - got my very own tennis racquet today! BF and I spent a few hours practicing at the public courts today, so cool!!!
This photo proves I definitely still have 7-8kg to go.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Fear
Fear.
a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil,pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feelingor condition of being afraid. Synonyms: foreboding,apprehension, consternation, dismay, dread, terror, fright,panic, horror, trepidation, qualm. Antonyms: courage,security, calm, intrepidity.
During my journey I have learned a lot about emotions, including fear.
When I binged, I would be effectively covering up my emotions. But at the time I genuinely believed that wasn't the reason, I thought I was eating because I loved food. It is only now that I have stepped out of the binge cycle and started to experience a full range of emotions to their complete extent again that I see now that I was kidding myself. I ate to calm my emotions, eating made it so the only emotion I felt was discomfort and a bit of shame. I didn't like them, but they were familiar.
Anyways, a long time ago I read a few books about giving up binge eating (not helpful as I was in denial that I had a problem) and they talking about recognising emotions and feelings as they come into your head, but not necessarily acting on them or taking them any further. Not overthinking, just observing your feelings and acknowledging them. I thought it was a total load of malarkey.
On Saturday I realised that since I've been recovering these past few months I have been learning to deal with emotions without even realising.
It all started on Saturday morning. I was staying with friends and had a long run planned for the morning (25 minute run, my longest one to date). I woke up feeling like garbage. My throat hurt, my eyes were swollen, my nose was running and my appetite was gone. I figured I felt so average a run might make me feel better so I went ahead as planned, drove to the river and began my run.
Within 5 minutes I was ready to give up. As soon as my brain started to think about giving up my breathing got quicker and a bit panicky and running got harder. I started to analyse what on earth was going on.
- Is my body too sore to run? No. Muscles are all ok, I've trained well for this.
- Am I too sick to run? No. A bit of a head cold but not much in my chest.
- Am I too unfit to run? No. I've done 20mins before!
- So why do I think I can't do this? I'm scared.
- Scared of what? Failing, having to stop, my body hurting too much, feeling like I will spew by the end.
So let's get this straight. Physically, my body was geared for the run. Mentally, I was letting fear stop me.
In that moment I decided that from now on, fear is no longer the strongest emotion in my body. I have plenty of other emotions which are stronger such as determination, pride, tenacity, ferocity. It was incredible, as I came to that realisation in my mind I swear I felt my feet pick up the pace a little and my breathing evened out.
And so I ran. I ran even though it hurt my throat to breathe, even when my stomach cramped up in the last 10 minutes I forced through the pain, I just told myself over and over that the strongest emotion in my body at this point in time is pride and I have far too much of it to let this run beat me.
At the end of the run I had to stop and gather myself as I was close to puking from the stomach cramp and a bit faint, but within a minute I was walking normally and feeling fine.
It was amazing, I have learned to recognise emotions and then make a rational decision as to whether I will act on them or not. Fear is an extremely strong emotion which I used at the start of my journey to motivate me. I was scared of being an obese wife and mother, scared of not enjoying my wedding day, scared of crying when I see my wedding photos. I think we can use fear to our advantage, but it's also important not to let fear hold us back. To do that we need to recognise it as fear, rather than the excuses or labels we sometimes give it, and then decide how to act on it.
- What would the worst thing about failing this run today be? I'd feel let down and unfit.
- Why is that so scary, surely you can chalk it up to experience? Um... true. Not scary at all.
Today I attempted another 25min run uphill with a backpack on and I totally nailed it, didn't even think about the time or pain, I just got on and got it done.
So, what emotion do you let control you?
a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil,pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feelingor condition of being afraid. Synonyms: foreboding,apprehension, consternation, dismay, dread, terror, fright,panic, horror, trepidation, qualm. Antonyms: courage,security, calm, intrepidity.
During my journey I have learned a lot about emotions, including fear.
When I binged, I would be effectively covering up my emotions. But at the time I genuinely believed that wasn't the reason, I thought I was eating because I loved food. It is only now that I have stepped out of the binge cycle and started to experience a full range of emotions to their complete extent again that I see now that I was kidding myself. I ate to calm my emotions, eating made it so the only emotion I felt was discomfort and a bit of shame. I didn't like them, but they were familiar.
Anyways, a long time ago I read a few books about giving up binge eating (not helpful as I was in denial that I had a problem) and they talking about recognising emotions and feelings as they come into your head, but not necessarily acting on them or taking them any further. Not overthinking, just observing your feelings and acknowledging them. I thought it was a total load of malarkey.
On Saturday I realised that since I've been recovering these past few months I have been learning to deal with emotions without even realising.
It all started on Saturday morning. I was staying with friends and had a long run planned for the morning (25 minute run, my longest one to date). I woke up feeling like garbage. My throat hurt, my eyes were swollen, my nose was running and my appetite was gone. I figured I felt so average a run might make me feel better so I went ahead as planned, drove to the river and began my run.
Within 5 minutes I was ready to give up. As soon as my brain started to think about giving up my breathing got quicker and a bit panicky and running got harder. I started to analyse what on earth was going on.
- Is my body too sore to run? No. Muscles are all ok, I've trained well for this.
- Am I too sick to run? No. A bit of a head cold but not much in my chest.
- Am I too unfit to run? No. I've done 20mins before!
- So why do I think I can't do this? I'm scared.
- Scared of what? Failing, having to stop, my body hurting too much, feeling like I will spew by the end.
So let's get this straight. Physically, my body was geared for the run. Mentally, I was letting fear stop me.
In that moment I decided that from now on, fear is no longer the strongest emotion in my body. I have plenty of other emotions which are stronger such as determination, pride, tenacity, ferocity. It was incredible, as I came to that realisation in my mind I swear I felt my feet pick up the pace a little and my breathing evened out.
And so I ran. I ran even though it hurt my throat to breathe, even when my stomach cramped up in the last 10 minutes I forced through the pain, I just told myself over and over that the strongest emotion in my body at this point in time is pride and I have far too much of it to let this run beat me.
At the end of the run I had to stop and gather myself as I was close to puking from the stomach cramp and a bit faint, but within a minute I was walking normally and feeling fine.
It was amazing, I have learned to recognise emotions and then make a rational decision as to whether I will act on them or not. Fear is an extremely strong emotion which I used at the start of my journey to motivate me. I was scared of being an obese wife and mother, scared of not enjoying my wedding day, scared of crying when I see my wedding photos. I think we can use fear to our advantage, but it's also important not to let fear hold us back. To do that we need to recognise it as fear, rather than the excuses or labels we sometimes give it, and then decide how to act on it.
- What would the worst thing about failing this run today be? I'd feel let down and unfit.
- Why is that so scary, surely you can chalk it up to experience? Um... true. Not scary at all.
Today I attempted another 25min run uphill with a backpack on and I totally nailed it, didn't even think about the time or pain, I just got on and got it done.
So, what emotion do you let control you?
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